(13^TH May, till the 57^th Match)

There are no clear reasons why this year’s IPL is duller. We could have called it simply dull but saying ‘duller’, it means that previous versions were entertaining. There can be many reasons:

1. India’s World Cup win at home after 28 years (Many would have started thinking April 2^nd onwards that nothing else matters now),
2. Break of just 6 days between the World Cup and the IPL (1/3^rd of the English players were injured during the World Cup, 1/3^rd during the break and the remaining 1/3^rdwere benched in the IPL),
3. Absence of Mr LalitModi (the IPL ‘Commissioner’ and the firm believer in after-match parties),
4. Absence of Dada (Who eventually played for PWI in their 11^th match),
5. Complexities arising due to 10 teams instead of 8 and the confusing schedule,
6. And of course, not remembering which player is in which team after the fresh player auctions,
7. Outrage over PWI’s cheerleaders wearing traditional clothes rather than skirts and tops stitched in less than 1metre of cloth (Read IPL’s Rules and Regulations book),
8. Cheerleaders covering their legs (We, in India, love the leg-piece),
9. Talking of diversity in India, you can’t miss it in the Kochi Team (Look at the players and then look at the cheerleaders; if not impressed, look at the other 10 MEN in the playing 11 and their captain - Mahila!! Please forgive me for the spelling mistakes),
10. Power wastage in Kochi, they could have saved the cost of floodlights in the stadium as their team uniform is bright enough to light up the whole of Kerala, even eastern islands of Lakshadweep,
11. Comparison of weights of Mr Ambani’s son with MrMallya’s son,
12. Absence of after-match parties because of which almost every Indian player earned himself a Bollywood starlet,
13. Munaf Patel’s fresh commitment towards fielding (He has started collecting the ball in the very first attempt)
14. Andrew Symonds’ restraining power (He was in the same team as Harbhajan Singh),
15. Presence of Siddhu in the pre and post match shows.
16. Presence of Anu Malik, VivekOberoi and AbhishekBachchan at the Wankhede.
17. Liz Hurley’s annoying way of clapping after Shane Warne takes a wicket,
18. Absence of rumours of terrorist attacks or some group threatening to disrupt a match for their demands to be fulfilled (in short, no topics for discussion at the khokhas and chai-wallas)
19. Some more reasons that are strictly personal and even more ridiculous.

Lets not waste any more words and author’s precious energy and come to the other topic: The result of future upsets in the IPL.I’ll be frank, we all like upsets. By upsets, we don’t mean being challaned or fined or slapped, but the upsets in the IPL. It’s actually good to see a team whom no one expects to win to come from nowhere and defeat the table toppers which might happen in tomorrow’s match (Match 59: MI vs DC). At 11.15 PM, the time around which the 2^nd match of the day ends, people will switch on their TVs to see who is going to be the Man of the Match but surprisingly find out that the table toppers have lost to last team. And forget the MoM, their favourite player had to be contended by receiving the KarbonKamaal CatchAward. Imagine that. The people will call their family members who’ll make a dash towards the TV. The Tech- savvy people would logon to www.youtube.com to catch the highlights. People like me, who are the most jugadu ones, will immediately logon to www.indiatimes.com which provides the live streaming of this year’s IPL and whose telecast is 8-10 minutes behind the actual telecast to catch the final moments, LIVE. Thankyou.

Lets have a look at the Points Table (till 13^th May, 57^th Match)

The First Four(CSK, MI, RCB, KKR) qualify for the play offs and Last Six(RR, KXIP, KTK, PWI, DD, DC)carry their fat salaries home saying who gives a damn. Now, if from tomorrow, a lower ranked team defeats a higher ranked team in all the remaining 13 group matches, how will the table look like? Lets take it one match at a time as it will create more suspense and for a  far more basic fundamental reason: I am sort of unemployed and have loads of time.

Any guesses? Looks like DC and DD won a lot of matches and may be have an outside chance for qualifting? MI lost all the matches. Is there a possibility that they may crash out? Many more questions like that? All those would be laid to rest by the next table based on the results of last 13 matches.

The order might have changed but the First Four remain the same. Oops. We like upsets, not being upset!No changes in the Top 4 but a lot of movement in the latter 6. KTK, DD and DC climb the table whereas RR, KXIP and PWI fall. Mrs Shetty, Ms Zinta and Sahara’swould not be very pleased with my calculations, I guess.But that’s how we like it: annoy the ones who don’t get wooed.

Do the results calculated in the 3^rd Table make this article useless? NO. Do you see all the research and calculations done by the author? Making an extra table whose result could have easily be shown in the 3^rd table? All this reflects the amount of effort put in. So, anyone wants a Research Analyst?

AnkushYaduvanshi