This just in for anyone who’s been marooned on a desert isle or cut off from the world because Comcast sucks: the Associated Press has deemed the Tiger Woods drama the top sports story of the year.

You know the drill:

• National Enquirer story alleges affair with nightclub hostess Rachel Uchitel; mainstream media members shrug
• Woods smashes fire hydrant with SUV on Thanksgiving night 2009; wife Elin Nordegren smashes Cadillac Escalade window with 9-iron; where-are-they-now golfer Jasper Parnevik says she needed more club
• Citing injuries from car crash, Woods withdraws from Chevron World Challenge, opening door for Graeme McDowell to have career year
• World receives way TMI about Woods’ extracurricular activities
• “Saturday Night Live” and others make Tiger Woods late-night punchline
• Sponsors begin ditching the then-world’s No. 1
• TigerWoods.com announces Woods’ “indefinite break” from competitive golf and confession of infidelity
• New York Times reveals connection to Canadian doctor who deals performance-enhancing drugs to athletes
• AP names Woods its Athlete of the Decade
• Golf Writers Association of America vote Woods its player of the year 
• Rumors of rehab circulate
• Woods enters rehab
• Tiger upstages Accenture Match Play Championship with made-for-TV mea culpa; refusal to answer reporters’ questions makes GWAA wish it could rescind POY honor
• TMI about sexting between Woods and ex-porn actress makes TMZ a household word among golf fans
• Five-minute interviews with ESPN and Golf Channel has Woods telling reporters to mind their own beeswax
• Woods tells reporters at Augusta he had torn Achilles tendon as well as bad knee in 2008; promises to corral his temper
• Woods returns to golf at the Masters; fourth-place finish sparks first of “He’s back” columns
• Woods posts 79, highest 36-hole of career, to miss cut at Quail Hollow Championship; maybe he’s not quite back to form
• Woods blames a bulging disk in his neck for withdrawing from The Players Championship; golf world smirks
• After six years as swing coach, Hank Haney breaks up with Tiger via text message
• Woods finishes in fourth place at U.S. Open; okay, now he’s back
• Tiger ends up in a tie for 46th at AT&T National; where’d he go?
• A T23 finish at British Open leads to “what’s wrong with Tiger?” speculation
• Woods signs for highest 72-hole score of career and shares 78th place at Bridgestone Invitational; Tiger’s totally done
• Rumors of bromance with swing guru Sean Foley surface
Woods fails to earn spot on Ryder Cup team after T28 at PGA Championship
• Woods and Nordegren divorce, after which the former Mrs. Tiger Woods gives People Magazine a “tell-some” interview
• Woods’ opening-round 65 is good enough to share 18-hole lead at The Barclays
• Ryder Cup captain Corey Pavin makes Woods a wild-card pick for 2010 team
• For first time in pro career, Tiger fails to qualify for Tour Championship
• Woods lights it up with 3-1-0 record at Ryder Cup, but Americans fall to Euros
• Lee Westwood surpasses Woods as top-ranked golfer, ending Woods’ record streak of 281 straight weeks as No. 1
• Woods ends official PGA Tour season without a victory after tying for sixth at HSBC Championship
• The calendar year ends without a Woods victory for first time in his 14-year career after fourth-place finish at Australian Masters; Uchitel is a no-show
• McDowell -- who likely would not have been in this position but for the whole Tiger Woods sex scandal thing (see 2009 Chevron tourney) -- beats Tiger in sudden-death playoff at same event; pundits predict great things for world’s No. 2 in 2011
• Tiger tweets; Twitter explodes

And that’s why Tiger Woods was AP’s top sports story of 2010.